Forgiveness

 Forgiveness

 Forgiveness is something that can be really difficult to deal with. If I am angry or resentful I have to reflect, when I can, on how that is affecting me.  You see its not about proving you are right or wrong, its about living the best life you can free of the chains of worry, denial, anger and fear.  Eventually for my own sanity I must come to some resolution about the matter because I am sick and tired of renting out real estate in my head to the person that has angered me.  I have been told holding on to resentments is like peeing on yourself...only you feel it. 

Now you may be saying how can I forgive when it hurts so much? With forgiveness  hurt lessens and creates a space for repairing relationships to occur.  You see you aren't forgiving someone for their benefit at all, you are forgiving them for YOUR own peace of mind.

Here are some steps to take

Willingness

You have to be at least willing to consider forgiving someone.  Forgiveness repairs relationships.

Prayer (talk to a higher power)

Say a prayer for the other person even if it’s just “I hope he gets everything he deserves!” eventually it won’t be so hard.  Do this every day for 2 weeks.  This is private and doesn’t need to be shared with anyone unless you want to.

Release

Release the resentment so it no longer has power over you.  Set your self free.

Affirmation

I fully forgive this person and am now living a life filled with harmony and serenity.

In return you will begin to see changes in your perception of the offence and it may not be as important as it once was to be right.

I don't have to tell anyone about it until I am ready, I don't even have to tell the person I am forgiving if I don't want to because its not for them.  If I want to live in peace and harmony and repair relationships than I have to forgive there is no way around that. Forgiving someone may not seem fair, and in fact usually it isn't fair, but its essential to your mental and emotional well being.  The hardest person I have time forgiving is myself, I can get into self doubts, or feeling like I shouldn't have said or done something, or done something I am deeply ashamed of.  Its always hardest to forgive ourselves because that bar is set really high.  If you can't forgive someone today can you say a prayer for them?  My typical prayer is God I hope he gets EVERYTHING he deserves, maybe not the best prayer but its a good start.  Pray for them for 30 days, and if you don't pray send them positive energy once a day for thirty days.  After that reflect on what you need to forgive and assess how bad is it really?  Is there a tiny hope of forgiveness.  Start there the universe loves a challenge.  All that is required is willingness to do so and the desire to claim back your sanity and peace of mind. 

Liana Gramza

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Fall Newsletter 2014